swear that i am getting fat.
its the suppers and late nights that kill you
my sleeping hours have become terribly messed up.
which explains why i am still awake at 4 in the morning.
holidays are quite a wonderful thing really
despite the fact that i am swamped with a lot of work to complete
i just simply relish in the fact that it is unnecessary for me to make that freaking one and a half hour long trip in the morning before the sun rises to the most obscure end of singapore ever.
(can you tell how much i hate going to school)

okay a HUGE lizard just emerged on the wall next to me.
am decidedly freaked.
i believe that sleep is gonna elude me a little while longer.

sigh. like how sadistic is this.
massively huge.
on a happier note
finally consolidated some of my pictures. (:
friends make me happy.

PS.
whoever has like the photos with my family and JY and edith can send to me?
not sure whose camera we used...
sorry!!

i am just not used to being that one lone figure
wondering aimlessly around
and slipping silently into a crowded room when no one even turns to look
its like this entire scene out of a nightmare
where you are the last girl left standing on the line after everyone has called out the names of the members on their teams
you stay there as all eyes gaze at you and you shift your weight unconfortably around and twiddle your fingers uneasily,
wishing that the floor will simply open up and swallow you whole.
you are the one relegated to the farthest corner at lunch
busying yourself by staring down at your plate but never really eating your food
simply looking occupied and willing the bell to ring so that you can simply just run away home to hide.
everyone's in a circle and i on the outside.
they say that it is in a crowd that you feel the most alone.
i couldnt agree more.

i'm nobody without you

being nobody's not difficult
you just head on with your life and live it from the shadows.
i wish it were that simple
but somehow life has to decide to be trying and chose to be defunct at the most unopportune time.
the past 2 weeks have been just about the most painful and i thank god for nothing short of a miracle that i am safe and alive and well.

for those of you who dont already know
was involved in a car crash.
accident with an evolution 9
saw my car spinning 270degrees.
am in one piece.
just sore with a swollen knee.

uncle has pictures of the wreck. might post them if i do manage to get my hands on them.
and yes i owe them both a huge thank you for coming to my aid.

and to my disappointment
and to that of those who were hoping to get rid of me
i wont be going.
cry with me.

some of the few shots i actually have on my camera.






so its finally over
after everything and all that i must say that it actually gelled together pretty well in the end.
thank you to the entire cast.
without you none of this would have been possible.
thanks for the chance to have worked with you.
apologise for upsetting anyone in the process
thanks all once again.

and to ALL who came
thank you for the support.
hope you had a good time and enjoyed the performance.

a huge part of me wants to just cast everything aside
and just run off aware to a foreign shore
immerse myself in a new land
and begin all over again
but then
theres the guilt
and all the responsibilities that i know i have
and i am torn.

what am i to do.

had quite an exciting afternoon today actually.
sitting in the middle of the CJ canteen in this huge oversized Cj shirt and trying to blend in with the entire crowd of overly stressed out and emotional teenagers.
must say that i was pretty successful with it considering the sister took like 5 minutes to pick me out from the crowd.
an exciting day pretty hilarious.

note to self:
teaching 3 J2 guys is an insanely ardous task
though i have to admit definitely one of my more enjoyable lessons to date.
doubt you guys will find this but
good luck either ways

happy birthday edith darling.
i love you.

forbidden city: portrait of an empress

this is my only chance/love opened my heart/years of broken dreams/all in the past
this is my only chance/love make me a part/of someone who shows me he loves me/and knows me at last.

breathtakingly beautiful
simply mesmerizing

tips to surving school

1) always travel light. bring as little things to school as human possible.
lugging a huge bag of this around is not only far from glamorous but also torture on your bag and arms.
if you could, learn from the guys that walk around with those transparent files filed with papers and a few pens.
or otherwise, the prissy little girls that totter around swinging their little handbags.
the latter amaze me.

2)heels are in no way advisable footwear.
being built on a hill, campus isnt the most heel friendly place with its steep slopes and endless steps.
also, travassing from one LT to the other takes a considerable amount of walking.
and since there is simply no cute guy worth impressing along the corridor, looking taller and more poised is simply not worth the accompanying discomfort and blisters.

3)shorts are the way.
unless you are planning to be cooped up in airconditioned rooms the entire duration of your day in school, jeans are way too hot, uncomfortable and restrictive.
with the hot weather here in our lovely garden city, one cant help but find the thick demin sticking to your inner thighs as the day progresses and the heat gets increasing intense.
so yes, shorts and skrts are definitely the way to go.
of cos, if one has mountains for thighs, then one should defintely watch the length of that bottom.
jiggly cellulite is not a pleasant sight.

indulge me in my egotistical moment
if one is curious to find out why i am dressed as such well..
join me at wonderland

they say that the toughest metal is forged in the strongest flames
but what happens if it cant withstand the heat?
does it simply just melt away?

he once stood tall and erect
but he was never a proud man
infectious laughter
the bright gleam in his eyes
the familiar scent tinged with cigeratte smoke
just mild enough to not be overpowering
his steady gaze and quick witted speech
his firey temper
his pride.

but now all i see is the shadow of a man
shuffling along
but never a complaint pass through his lips
fighting and trying to be strong
a million thoughts go through his mind as he lies motionless on the couch
and i can only try to guess all thats unspoken.
i detest the weakness that has left him incapacitated

return to me the one
who used to swing me up high above his head
tickle me with his moustach
pat me back to sleep when i woke up with nightmares
please bring him home to me.